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The man more than likely plays into this often times telling her things such as “I wish I could have met you years ago”.
This makes her feel as if the only thing keeping them apart is the ring on his finger.
The woman goes through self-esteem issues and starts to wonder why she is settling for less than what she deserves.
If the man is not a total ass, he will feel the guilt every time he looks in his wife’s eyes, and he will try to ease the guilt by taking her out on a date, or suggesting a family vacation, etc.
Sure there are a few people who actually leave their wives when they have met their “soul mate”. Although he gets to the point where he is saying he loves the side chick, he is usually more in love with his kids.
In a loveless marriage with small children, the kids become more of a silver lining and the focus of all the reasons to deal with the unhappiness of no sex and conversation that only revolves around household duties (“did you pay the light bill?
This in turn will make the other woman feel even more humiliated as she thought he didn’t like his wife like that.
If she expresses it, he already has his reasoning – 1) she knew he was married, and 2) he never said he was leaving his wife.
This is hook line and sinker for the woman, as she automatically thinks, “oh, he wants to talk to me so badly that he’s risking getting caught!The other woman can’t call him or see him when she wants to.Eventually those sneaky late night phone calls end abruptly with “I gotta go!Unfortunately, even if she is not ready to admit it, her subconscious desire is for him to make the dream come true, and leave his wife.The worst thing to do is sleep with the married man as once the adultery is official, the dynamic of the relationship drastically changes.